A Serving of Mohan Bhatnagar!

"I've decided that today is going to be amazing. 1, 2, 3... GO!" 

I have more than a sneaking suspicion about that being the thought Mohan Bhatnagar woke up to, the morning of 29th May. 

Picture the scene...    Sprawled across the parapet of his stingy stretch of a balcony in his usual king-of-the-world languor, he frowns when an annoying rooster crows. Once. Twice. Thrice. Somewhere in the realm between asleep and awake, he yells for Guru to shut the freaky bird up. And somehow, it works. Quiet prevails again. But unaccustomed as he is to things going his way,  easily as that,  Mohan snaps out of the semi-consciousness. Barely survives the fall of an entire storey between jumping to his feet and not slipping over the very edge, feels an immediate crick in the neck from the night's not so flattering position, and looks about skeptically to find what silenced his everyday enemy, that vengeful neighborhood rooster. Before his search can culminate however, his gaze is distracted by the fluttering of the curtains of  her  room. And unlike most of his days, today he does catch sight of her. Just for a second, just in time, before she flits past the dresser out of the door. The rooster crows again. Mohan rolls his eyes almost fondly at the return of normalcy. Looks in the distance at the intriguing blend of indigo and pink ribbons that form the pre-dawn sky. And  just like that  he decides... that today is going to be amazing. 1, 2, 3... GO! 

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But hold your horses right here. This post is not about a day in the life of Mohan Bhatnagar! Not even, if the day turns out to be as entertaining and goofy-grin-inducing as that from the episode of 29th May. To which, btw, the above was my mentally accommodated prelude... 

But no. This post is only a means to finally blog about my current favorite Indian show. A post I was intending to make no later than last week, which marked the well reached milestone of 100 episodes completion for Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha. Since I'm altogether late for that now, but still wish to pay some tribute to the NBT team, I think I shall dedicate this post to doing what I do better than much else - gush about my favorite character from the show, a stroke of genius from the makers who have conjured a character this close from being real! 

For the uninitiated, meet Mohan Bhatnagar. The cynical man-child who can outwit bad guys a dozen a dime, but not wrap his head around the rocket science that is tying laces. If you insist, he's likely to launch into some half baked theory about the (delightfully psychedelic colored) laces left purposefully untied in accord with current trends (in Mohan-land of course). But beware, lest you get talked into any such glib - even a precocious 8 year old (read: Nanhi) knew better than to! Still, if you choose to overlook the warning, I trust Mohan in all his klutzy glory to oblige. By dutifully and unfailingly stumbling upon his fashion-statement-waces - while still in the middle of excusing his goofy ways as "style" - and effectively proving otherwise. 

But moving beyond my (evident) obsession over the waces... 

It is just as well that I warn you at this point also, about Bhatnagar's self destructive knack of casting epic fail first impressions. In defense of his virtues though - his heart is gold, his affections precious and his witticisms priceless. His guard is impenetrable, as long as you're not tricking him with good homemade food to get your way past it. And that is curiously enough, not Achilles' only heel. If by some miraculous chance you come to be in possession of this mysterious blue bordered white female hanky recovered from his denims or backpack, hold onto it. From reliable sources it is known, that there are unbelievable extents he will go to, to get it back. Maybe,  just maybe both his desperation and your luck are running high enough - that he will even trade his pehla pyaar dumroo in return! 

If his cynicism stumps you, you haven't yet seen his candor. And if you think nothing could top that, you haven't seen his concern! His signature expressions of courtesy - sun naa, arey yaar, chal be - are (excuse the immodesty) a cult of their own, spreading like an epidemic among keen idolizers; the latter being a number on exponential rise. 

But don't be so impressed. On days of his life - when he's not busy being adorkable with Chawanni, playing knight and confessing love to her feisty mother Mirchi Vyas, being encountered by the ever-stalking Vyases, being advised by insufferable know it all biwi Guru, or being patronized by moody Maa - Mohan does have a mundane life of his own, in which he is a star crime reporter. On his less eventful days, he can be found chasing witnesses or villains down highways and narrow alleys alike. His phone logs will usually be equally divided among Karan, Tawde, and Guru. Sometimes he can be found looking dorky in glasses as he doogles information about the goons. If there is nothing at all happening, boredom can compel him to land in a supermart and seek out transient action in disturbing peaceful shelves of order. 

So really, Mohan Bhatnagar is a noone-special-nextdoor. 

So how come that extensive fan following, you ask? It reminds me. In all my rambling I forgot to mention that the lesser known Mortal Bhatnagar is also available in the form of his invincible superhero alias - SpiderM(oh)an!!!

And just because I'm a nice fan who doesn't feel so territorial about letting others in on trade secrets, I will have you know that the exclusive rights to contact Spidey belong to Nanhi. Rumor has it, that Spidey only responds to an archaic ring-a-bell mechanism, set up personally by him, to cater to his very own chota bomb! 

Did You Know Trivia: 

-  His nickname is Monu. He will deny it, even at gun point. But that is the truth, and honestly he should quit running from it! Of course, there is a catch. Any guesses for the one  person who gets away with calling him Monu? No, not his mother, duh! And before you even go there, Mirchi finds much more appeal in calling him "musibat"! Guru is too biwi-minded to address him by a nick name - oh the sheer blasphemy! Which leaves only one. Chota bomb! 

-  Mohan's favorite color is a point of contention. Teal is his earliest known favorite. In more recent times however, he set his mind on black. But if the latest hints are anything to go by, I say he's warming up to yellow. Of course it has nothing to do with Mirchi's choice, psst! 

-  Milk is definitely not his drink. There is no evidence favoring bhaang either. If it was on me, I'd put money on masala chai, preferentially served half-a-cuppa! Okay fine, I wont deny Mirchi's credit for this one. 

- Mohan's greatest competitor comes in pocket-size. Goes by the name of Piddi Vyas. When they're not up against each other in a perpetually lasting war,  they do have their rare moments of "bonding". The exact terms and conditions of which are tricky to explain...

-  He's not usually one with a taste for flowers. Nanhi never approved of his choice for starters. There are witnesses to his once upon a time physical assault against respected Mrs. Renu Vyas with a beautiful bunch that he all but sent hurling at her. But recent events have changed that. And you just have to see the look on his face at the sight of a cactus in bloom, to believe when I tell you - Mohan does love some flowers. And some butterflies, while we're at it. 

-  The famous Mr. Bhatnagar is his mysterious father. A man he shares an inexplicable love-hate relationship with. I haven't really figured out this one to be honest. If I may, I doubt Mohan himself has figured it out yet. 

-  He doesn't like jalebi or laddoo or gulab jamun so I'd say he's not much of a sweet tooth. No surprise, given that he does chase after a woman he fondly calls Mirchi Madam!

And that's enough for a start. If you haven't really gotten to watching this show yet, I say you do it now. If you're a non-Hindi speaking blog follower - I feel for you. Mohan's magic will be quite lost on you, because no subtitles do justice to vintage Mohanisms. 

Finally, to the entire team of NBT - you people just get what entertainment is about. Enough said. Here's to a long innings, that never feels too old! Keep it rolling! 

To Kunal Karan Kapoor - Who would Mohan be, if not you? No. Change that. Who would you be, if not Mohan?! Yes, that's a trick question :P

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And I had better get back to understanding the life and styles of Parisian salons in the 19th century. Yay, exciting! *insert emoticon per your perception of my sentiment here* 

xx

J.